And another one bites the dust

It’s always confusing to me why people find it so difficult to just be straight and upfront if they’re unhappy in a situation. Myself included.

I mean… you lot must have been there? When there are 2 of you involved in a situation and one or both of you think that something in that situation should or needs to change and/or move forward but neither of you do anything about it.

You don’t want to be the one to mention it because you’re worried that you may have read the signals wrong and so you wait for the other person to say something which of course doesn’t happen because that other person either

A) Thinks everything is fine the way it is

B) Wants things to change but at the same time is worried that they will potentially ruin something which in it’s own little way works fine

Or

C) Is hoping that you will be the first one to bring it up so that you can take responsibility if it all goes tits up.

It’s situations like these that make my life so complicated. Like there’s an elephant in the room that you both know is there but for some reason don’t talk about it. I’ve found myself in a similar situation recently. A situation which has resulted in me not only questioning myself as a person, but also losing a receptionist which on reflection I think I could have perhaps prevented, had that elephant in the room just been talked about.

The receptionist who I am talking about only joined us around a month ago. Pretty little thing. Bright, smart, great with the customers. The only problem was that for some reason, she seemed to think that shift times were more of a guideline than a company requirement. She would think nothing of strolling half an hour, 1 hour, 2 hours late with no apology or explanation. She actually came on shift 20 minutes late once when taking over from me after I’d been on the early.

“Hiya! Oh Have you lost weight?”

“Yeah I have! Why are you late?”

Do you know what I mean? That’s what she was like.

Anyway this sort of thing continued and all the while I jut thought she was a bit flaky. So I spoke to her about it and was promised that it would stop. What I wasn’t aware that when the lateness stopped the sick days would start, causing me even more problems than before

So as you can imagine I was in 2 minds what to do about the whole thing. I had heard through the grape vine that she was unhappy with us, our little family. That she’d told people she was ready to walk and was coming to work with a sick feeling in her stomach every day. That’s not right after just a few weeks is it?

There were a couple of times when I had the opportunity to speak to her about it, but didn’t. And why? Well… the reasons I gave earlier. Partly hoping she would bring it up so I wouldn’t have to feel responsible if it went tits up, partly hoping that if we brushed it under the carpet things would improve, so why make an issue of it?

In hindsight, I wish now that I had taken a different approach. Maybe called her to tell her that her work was appreciated. Asked her if there were any problems she wanted to talk to me about. Not to say that I wasn’t livid about being messed around by her unreliability, but now I’ve calmed down I’m wondering if maybe there was a hidden reason behind why. Maybe she found herself sitting there some days physically not able to face coming in, I hate the thought of anyone feeling like that. But I didn’t say aaything. And why? Guess the elephant was in the way. That’s the only reason I can think of.

I think had this receptionist known me a little better, she would have know that I understand that sometimes it’s more difficult than you realise to come out and say what you really feel. And I would have respected her for telling me the truth. Maybe she was worried that I would disregard her feelings as being ridiculous and tell her to toughen up. Maybe she thought that I would tell the whole world what she thought about it and cause her even more problems. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe.

Wouldn’t it be easy if we lived in a world where there were no elephants in rooms and where people were just honest and upfront. It would avoid so many problems, or at least I think it would. Or would it end up causing them? Who Knows?

What will be will be, what is meant to be will happen, and every day is a challenge. I’m going to try very hard to put the whole thing behind me and move on to the next thing.

After all, I’ve got my own elephants to deal with. As well as these damn butterflies in my tummy.