R.I.P Gary

I have always strongly believed that as you go through life, you will without doubt encounter one particular person with whom you will share a unique relationship. A person who will have a profound impact on you in one way or another and a person who will put a permanent mark on your memory that will never be erased

For me , that person, is the one I call my boss, the miester, the great and powerful Oz. The man who I am almost certain either used to, currently does, or some day hopes to work for either MI5, NASA or another one of those top secret organisations you read about in Dan Brown novels.

This man has the ability to do incredible things. Things I’ve never seen before, things I never thought possible. I’ve known him to work a 14 hour shift without once using the bathroom, he once spent 4 hours driving a guest round in his BMW in order to obtain the cash for a £300 unpaid room bill, I remember that day well because it coincidently happened on his birthday, I remember being surprised because I never actually imagined him being born as such, but rather created in some kind of test tube and/or pod.

This man is without doubt one of the most unique human beings on the face of the planet with super heightened senses, the memory of an elephant and a secret radar which enables him to know the whereabouts and actions of his staff even when they‘re not in his presence. He once managed to track me down on a Sunday afternoon in a grotty council estate pub where the shorts were £1.90 a double, to ask if I could work the early shift the following day. I still don’t know what was more incredible, the fact that he found me, or the fact that he persuaded me to do it!

He often begins sentences with things like “Em.. I was just going through the bin..” and he handwrites letters that we already have as standard templates on the computer. He didn’t have his first mobile phone until 2004 and when he did get one he started ringing us from the car park pretending that he was at home.

Now having known this man for 6 wonderful years, I like to think that I’ve got him pretty much sussed, I know what he’s about. And even though there is still the odd occasion when he manages to shock me, there is always one thing that I can guarantee will happen whenever and if ever, he should choose to have a day or night off.

You see the thing about working for someone who runs their own business is that they find it very difficult to switch off from what could potentially be happening in their absence. And so, on the rare occasion where we do manage to get rid of him usually by means of aggravating him to the point where he can’t stand to be around us any more. There is absolutely no question that we will at some point receive a phone call, which goes word for word, as follows….

“Hi Em it’s me You ok?”
Hellooo, yes I’m ok thanks. You?
Yes I’m fine thank you Emma. Erm…any Calls?”
“No, no calls.”
“Any emails”
“No, no emails”
“Anyone in the restaurant?”
“No, nobody in the restaurant”
“Any more rooms?”
“No we haven’t sold any more rooms”
“Right. Ok. Is Simon there?”

Just for your information, Simon is the bosses trusted protégée, who works on the desk in the office right beside me. Once the call is passed through I can then only hear Simons side of the conversation. Which goes something like this…

“Hiya. Yep.
No, there haven’t been any calls
No, No emails
No there’s nobody in the restaurant”
“No we haven’t sold any rooms”

This is what happens every single time the boss has a day off! Every time! But do I judge him for it??? NO! Cos he’s the meister! He’s the dude! I’m on his team, I’ve got his back. I’ve known the guy for 6 years and if he wants to know what’s going on! He can bloody well ring and ask! So what if he asks the same question 3 times although he already knows the answer. It doesn’t matter! He is the man!

So over the course of the past 6 years there have been many a time when we have received this phone call, and there have also been times where it has been tempting to cut him off from the normal routine and ask him things that we actually need to know. Like what is the code to the fire alarm system? Where do we keep the first aid kit and are we allowed to drink whilst on duty? But we don’t, and the reason for that is… I’m actually not sure!

Anyway… as we are a hotel, and it is in our nature to be accommodating and flexible, there are certain times when we have no choice but to break those unspoken rules, something that Simon and I discovered when the following incident happened several weeks ago, on the bosses well deserved, once in a blue moon day off.

We were having a quiet morning together , sipping coffee and getting reacquainted with our face book accounts, when the phone rang, disturbing me from an online conversation with my best friend who at the time was on a layover in Washington DC. Bloody cabin crew don’t know they’re born! Anyway, phone rings…

“Hello there it’s Kath here from Gillfield Engineering”
“Hello Kath”
“Hi, you ok?”
“Yes thanks, you?”
“Yeah I’m fine thanks, er…Is your boss there”
“No I’m afraid he’s not in today Kath Can I take a message or can I help you at all?”

Awkward silence on the line

“Kath are you there?”
“Yes I’m here. Sorry, erm… can you give him a message for me?”
“Is it about Christmas Kath?” (I don’t know what made me ask that)
“No it’s not about Christmas”
“Oh.. Ok…what’s the message?”
“Alright.. Can you just tell him..”
“Yep”
That Gary”
“Yeah”
“The boss”
“Yeah”
“At Gillfield engineering”
“Yeah”
“Is dead”

Another awkward silence

“I’m sorry… did you just say that Gary..”
“Is dead yes”
“Oh no”
“Yeah”
“That’s awful”
“I know”
“What a shame”
“Terrible shame”
“Yeah.. wow”


There was then another awkward silence on the line and at that point Simon was hovering behind me with an intrigued look on his face with body language saying “Whats going on??? Give me some of that Juice” and so I ended the conversation with Kath before turning round and putting him out of his misery.

“Who was that” he asked the second I put the phone down “What’s happened”
“It was Kath from Gillfield engineering” I replied “She say’s that Gary’s dead”

“Really?”
“Yeah”
“Gary”
“Yeah”
“Bloody hell”
“I know”

We then spent a few moments in respectful silence before Simon went on to ask his next question

“Who’s Gary”
“I don’t know mate. Not a clue”
“Right”

So once we had established that neither one of us knew who Gary was, or what his connection was to the great almighty, we were then faced with dilemma of what to do with the information we were holding. Did we do the unthinkable and call the boss at home on his day off, something which would only normally be done if the hotel was

A) Infested with rodents and/or asbestos
B) Under 12 feet of water
C) Being held at Gun fire

Did we wait until he came into the office the next day and break what, for all we knew could be devastating news, face to face, OR did we leave him a note on one of the special message pads we’re supposed to use and leave it in his tray for him to find when we weren’t there? Our decision…

“Simon get me a pen”

So we deliberated for a while over the best and most diplomatic way to put something like that in writing, and after some careful thought and planning, we came up with…

TO: The Boss
FROM: Emma & Simon
REGARDING: Gary - Gillford engineering
MESSAGE: He is dead


We read the note back and spent what we considered adequate time to discuss the pro’s and cons of it‘s content, In the end we concluded that the original draft was the best we were able to come with. And so…

“Hiya boss it’s Simon you alright?
Yeah I’m ok thank you
No, phones have been quiet
No we haven’t had any emails
No there’s nobody on the restaurant.
No we haven’t sold any rooms LISTEN sorry for calling you on your day off…. But do you know any one called Gary from a company called Gillfield Engineering?
You do?
Yeah?
Right.
Ok.
Ok Yeah well the things is Boss, is that we’ve just had a phonecall from someone called Kath who works for Gillford engineering, Now… brace yourself, are you braced? You are? Ok. Now I‘m sorry to have to tell you this but I‘m afraid, the thing is, that Gary…. is dead”

If it weren’t for my 30 a day habit then I probably would have held my breath as I stood anxiously by Simons side as he made that dreaded phone call. It was difficult for me to gage the bosses reaction from what Simon was saying, however I was soon to be put out of my misery, as he pulled the handset away from his ear, looked at me and said…

“He wants to talk to you”

I made my way back to the desk, and picked up the phone as Simon put the call through

“Hello?”
“Hi Em it’s me You ok?”
“Helooo yes I’m ok thanks, you?”
“Yes I’m fine thank you Emma. Erm…any Calls?”