In Too Deep

In case you hadn’t already gathered, I’ve made no secret of the fact that I haven’t quite been feeling myself lately. But in the job that I do, it’s always important to try and put a front on no matter how bad you feel. But I’m sorry to say that I appear to be failing miserably.

I knew it was bad the other night when the boss was about to ask me to do something, then came out with…

“Oh… no it’s ok, you’re depressed aren’t you? Don’t worry I’ll do it”

He then scurried off around the corridor leaving me sitting wide eyed and dumfounded whilst looking around to see if anyone else had heard what he had said or if it was just me. I’m still struggling to believe it actually

I must admit however I didn’t really help myself the other day when my fellow receptionist Sarah made, what I realised rather too late, a joke about crying in the back office listening to the same Phil Collins song 50 times.

Rant:

“I can’t believe Simon told you about that the little twat! First of all I listened to that song 6 times not 50 and second of all I’d already finished crying when he came into the office so he doesn’t even know what he’s talking about!”

The gobsmacked look on her face quickly confirmed that she in fact had no idea about the incident in the back office the evening prior. That she was simply speaking in jest about a typical scenario that one who is feeling depressed might find oneself in.

Following that rant, myself and Sarah quickly ascended into a Phil Collins Medley. “Against all Odds” “Separate Lives” “One More Night” that kind of stuff. The new conference lady just looked at us like we’d gone stark raving mad but it was the best chuckle I’d had in a while

I’ve got a week off from the hotel very soon which I am looking forward to immensely. I haven’t really got much planned but I am anticipating a lot of conversations with friends and family members beginning with sentences like:

“Is it 7 am or pm”

and

“Hypothetically…What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without brushing your teeth?”

and

“Don’t put that in the bin I’m saving it”

Personally, I do think that a bit of mild depression every now and again does have it’s positives. Your skin clears up cos you’re not wearing make up, you catch up on a bit of sleep and your phone bills go down cos you have no desire or interest in talking to anyone. Well, most people at least.

It’s these positives that I need to try and focus on until I’m back to my normal, eccentric self. The other day I dropped a pen on the floor and welled up as I asked myself “Why do bad things happen to good people” and that behaviour just won’t do.

I need to snap out of it very quickly I think, before I find myself at the point of no return. Or as our good friend Mr Collins says… In too deep.