Diary of a Hotel Receptionist Christmas Special

Of course most of you know that I am not, in fact a hotel receptionist any more.

But I like to think that those of who have read this blog closely, see me not just as a hotel receptionist, but an interesting person a good story teller, and that this blog was simply a canvass on which to paint you a picture of my life, rather than a mould to secure it’s existence.

I have spent many a Christmas stuck behind a reception desk, smiley and happy pretending that there’s nowhere else on earth I’d rather be.

Obviously that’s crap. There are plenty of other places I’d rather be. Home being one, and so I invite you to read some of the highlights of my family Christmas, In the hope that you will see why…

Christmas morning. Rolled in at what I think was about 2am. I think I don’t know. I’m simply looking at it from a chronological point of view. But this is the sequence of events to my best recollection. From when I was invited to celebrate the birthday of a person I didn’t know, with a group of people I’d never met with the exception of one, On Christmas Eve…


11:56pm - Christmas Eve: I asked somebody from the group of strangers with whom I was drinking what time it was. He showed me his phone. I then took out my mobile phone and changed the time to coincide with his, then set the alarm for midnight.

11:57pm - Christmas Eve: I went the toilet to relieve myself and of course do a quick re-touch to my already…. I’m just gonna say it flawless make up there I said it.

00:00am Christmas Day: Still in the toilets when the alarm on my mobile phone went off, I frantically gathered together my belongings and ran back out to the bar where the group of strangers were excitedly exchanging pleasantries.

DON’T DO IT WITHOUT ME!

I screeched. The group of strangers then warmly invited me to join their huddle.


That’s when it becomes a bit of a blur. I remember a conversation with someone about what I did for a living, I remember bumping into someone I knew but I now can’t remember who that person was. I then remember getting a taxi home some time later, and paying 16 pounds, and having… let’s call it a “heated discussion” with the taxi driver over the fare.

When I came into the house I poured myself a drink and watched the ending scene to Billy Elliot 13 times on You Tube, I then proceeded to play Karma Chamelian by Culture Club, and posted the video link onto the facebook wall of one of my work colleagues.

It was at that point that I decided to retire to the sofa with my Duvet, and watch “A Muppet Christmas Carol” A parody film based on a Novel by 19th century Novelist Charles Dickens. This film is the fourth in it’s line in which the main character Ebenezor Scrooge is portrayed by Michael Caine. He has followed in the footsteps of many other great actors who took on this role including Alistair Sim, George C Scott, Patrick Stewart, and of course… Ross Kemp.

That is where the chronology becomes more clear.

07:23am - Christmas Day: After falling asleep to the Muppet Christmas Carol I was awoken by my older brother who was arriving home after attending an all night party….

“Merry Christmas Em!”
“Jesus Christ! Have you been to sleep?”
“No”
“That was a bit stupid wasn’t it?”
“Emma, don’t worry about me it’s Christmas! I’m alright, I’m on top of the world”
“Ok”
“We’re going to have a brilliant day”
“Ok”
“I’ll see you in a bit”

My brother then went upstairs, and I began to drift back to sleep, when…

“Em… Em are you awake?”
“No”
“Em you know your present?”
“Yeah?”
“Does it have to be wrapped?”
“No”
“Cos I’ve just tried to wrap it and I can’t cos it’s a weird shape”
“It’s fine”
“But it’s in a nice box anyway so I don’t think it needs wrapping”
“Yeah I’m sure it’s fine”
“Just look at it”
“I don’t need to look at it”
“Emma just look at the box!”

I shot up and squinted through my clumped up eye lashes, and almost immediately slumped back down

“It’s fine”
“Are you sure?”
“YES”
Ok”


Then there was silence, I could however still feel my brothers presence hovering at the door

“What is it now?”
“Do you want a cup of tea?”

Whether that was the question that he originally intended to ask I have no idea, maybe it was a decoy question that he decided to ask after hearing the irate tone in my voice. I guess we’ll never know.

“Yes go and make a cup of tea”

So then I was up. Christmas morning, a time for family, and I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at how I spoken to my brother a few minutes prior, and so I did what any normal, loving sister would do, and I went upstairs to sit on his bedroom floor, and iritate him to….

“Whose is that present there?”
“It’s Louises”
“Is it?”
“Yeah”
“What’s in it?”
“Lush
“It looks like a star”
“Well that’s cos it’s in a star shaped box.
“Oh. The wrapping’s a bit shoddy”
“Well it can’t be that shoddy cos you knew it was a star”
“Even so…”

I could see at this point that my brothers Alcohol fuelled Christmas High was rapidly beginning to fade

“What do you think…” he said “About me wrapping all of Alayna’s presents up as one?”
“You can‘t ”
“No?”
“Yeah”
“Why?”
“Cos it’s lazy”
“Do you think?“
“Yeah. Plus that’s what I was gonna do with my presents to Alayna and if we both do it … Well”

I could see my brother was too tired to argue, and so I decided to do what any normal little sister would do, and use the situation to my advantage

“Are you using that gift bag?”
“What gift bag?”
“This one”

He thought about it for a second

“I don’t know”
“Can I have it then?”
“I suppose so”
“Have you got any scissors?”
“Yeah”
“Wrapping paper?”
“Yeah”
“Can I have those as well?”

He didn’t care. He was holding his head in his hands, surrounded by boxes of go-go hamsters, tia maria and Chanel number 5, all still waiting to be wrapped. We persevered through the morning, then we got Lunch time. I was having a cheeky Cinzano whilst peeling the carrots, and then mum came out with the following statement…

“Should I put white wine in the gravy?”

At first there was silence. But then I think I spoke for everyone when I went on to say…

“No! Absolutely not!”
“Why?”
“Because you don’t know what your doing with it!
“Well I’m just going to put it in the gravy”

It called for drastic measures….

“Listen mum… I’m not gonna lie to you… But you’ve already ruined Christmas by not buying me any pyjamas that if I remember, I did say that was the only thing I wanted. Don’t get me wrong the Marc Jacobs perfume, the digital camera, the Loccitane, is all great but you have… let yourself down cos I haven’t got any pyjamas to get into after lunch. I am however giving you the opportunity to redeem yourself with what I know can be, if you put your mind to it, a brilliant family lunch and so I am asking you please PLEASE do not put any white wine in the gravy”

Luckily my mum has a sense of humour which is why I wasn’t sucking my Christmas dinner through a straw after that statement. But I think we were luckier that we did in fact manage to restrain her from pouring a £3.99 bottle of Valencia sweet white wine into the gravy which turned out to be… perfection.


And thus concludes the Gilbert family Christmas. Since starting my new job my judgement has been somewhat clouded as to what a special time it can be for those who are lucky enough to have good friends and family around them.

So here’s to 2011. To good friends, good family… And good Gravy!

God bless us…. Everyone!

Diary of a Hotel Receptionist

MONDAY

Finished at 3:00pm today, Sabrina and I went in search of a retirement gift for Rose, our head housekeeper of 13 years who is retiring from the hotel on Wednesday. We weren’t really sure what we wanted to buy. I didn’t really want to get the usual clock or gold watch, you know, the typical retirement gifts. Although I don’t think Sabrina was bothered either way

“Why don’t you get this?”
“That?”
“Yeah”
“That is a bottle of wine Sabrina”
“Erm… actually, it’s a bottle of wine which is also a puzzle, and you have to solve the puzzle to open the bottle of wine”
“You’re serious aren’t you?”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing”
“No come on what’s wrong with it?”
“Well… It’s just a bottle of wine isn‘t it?!”
“But it’s not is it it’s a puzzle as well!”
“I really do wonder about you sometimes”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing?”
“Well I’d like to see you come up with a better idea”

Although I hate to admit it, she did have a point. I was clueless and I had these ridiculous shoes on that felt like my feet were going to explode at any given second. Four shops, 3 phone calls to Sarah and 2 hours later we settled on a set of 70% off, lead crystal champagne flukes from Debenhams. I personally felt a surge of satisfaction however I couldn’t help but feel that Sabrina had other things on her mind.

“Oi! What’s wrong with your face?”
“Nothing”
“Yes there is?”
“There’s nothing wrong with my face”
“Well you can alter it now any way cos we’ve got the present, your ordeal’s over. Sorry for the inconvenience”
“Well I’m not being funny but I said ages ago that I needed the toilet, and you’ve dragged me everywhere and you know I’ve got this water infection…”
“Erm… excuse me, but you were offered a toilet break 20 minutes ago when we were in H Samuels and you said no so don’t start getting shitty with me because you’ve decided to be a martyr and it’s come back and bit you in the ass!”
“Screw you”

Once we managed to get Sabrina to the toilet we went our separate ways. I went home, screamed at mum about a chicken dinner (it’s a long story) then went to bed.

Just 4 more days to go!!!!!


TUESDAY

“Emma, the engineer from Lexmark Printers will be coming out at some point today”
“Ok”
“And when he comes just remember what we talked about”
“I will”

When he referred to what I presume was a previous conversation about the printer, I had absolutely no idea what he was on about and the blank look on my face must have told Simon just that, as he continued…

“Emma if the engineer asks… nobody has been any where near the printer!”
“Right”
“That means that I never took anything out of it”
“Ok”
“I never took anything apart”
“Ok”
“We never turned upside down and shook it like Bev told us to”
“Ok”
“When he comes all you’ve got to say is that it just started spitting out burning sheets of paper on it’s own without anybody going anywhere near it”
“Fine”

It’s probably just as well that the engineer didn’t turn up because I am useless in those kind of situations. But then at the same time I suppose it wouldn’t really be my problem would it?

Just 3 more days to go….


WEDNESDAY

Sat at the desk today, it was absolutely dead

“This time next week I’ll be so busy I won’t know which way to turn”

I kept on telling myself.

I sat there flicking through the daily mail for most of the morning. Aunty Chris kept on popping down which was nice

“What’s for lunch Em?”
“Well... chef says it's a jacket potato?”
“Oooh I don’t want a Jacket potato…..”
“Chris, I’m not getting involved in another conversation about Jacket Potatoes”
“You don’t have to get involved”
“Chef say’s we’re having a Jacket Potato”
“Well I’ll tell him I’m not having that”
“Well you tell him that then”
“I’m going to”
“Are you?”
“Yes!”
“Well in that case can you tell him that I don’t want one either?”
“What do you want?
“Well what are you having?”
“I fancy a tuna sandwich I think”
“Can I have Ham?”
“Yes you can have ham”
“Ok tell chef I'll have ham”
"You leave it with me

Then I started feeling a little bit sad. No more Aunty Chris, no more rows with chef over jacket potatoes, no more rows with chef over anything. That lunch time I went into the kitchen and just looked at his ever so sweet face, and the jacket potatoes. Sitting there in their foil, crispy on the outside and fluffy in the middle. Just the way they should be. I think in all the years I’ve known him, that’s the best batch of jacket potatoes he’s ever made. Will miss the jacket potatoes chef. And you Aunty Chris, but I’m still counting down. Just 2 more days to go!


THURSDAY

Last time I will ever have to do the late shift. In the new job the latest I’ll ever have to finish work is 7:00pm WOOHOO!!!!

I sat at the desk tonight, bored out of my skull, and if that wasn’t enough to confirm that my decision to leave is the absolute right thing to do, the following incident most certainly was.

It was 8:30pm, when the phone rang…

“Hiya it’s Nick at the Ramada”
“Hi Nick”
“You alright?”
“Yeah, you?”
“Yeah I’m fine, listen… have you got a twin room for this Saturday the 17th July?”
“I think so Nick yeah.”
“How much is it?”
“£65 B&B”
“Brilliant. Can I book that Em for a Mr Harris. We’ve over booked him and having a bit of a nightmare getting him in somewhere else”
“Yep that’s no problem Nick”
“Thanks Emma”
“Has he got an email address so I can send him a confirmation?”
“Yep its…”
“Ok Brill”
“Thanks Emma. Oh, and can you make sure you give him a nice room?”
“A what?”
“A nice room”

I had to pause for a minute to take in that ridiculous question

“A nice room did you say Nick?”
“Yeah”
“Well what does that mean? A nice room it’s… it’s a room Nick”
“Right”
“You know it’s a just a standard room”
“Ok”
“I’ve only got what I’ve got at the end of the day”
“Yep I know…”
“Nice room?”
“Emma, I’m sorry I know, it’s fine, thanks, I appreciate it”
“You just said a room Nick”
“I know”
“So it’s just going a be a standard room like you asked”
“Ok”
“Ok then. Bye Nick”
“Bye Emma”


I couldn’t believe it! What a stupid thing to say. It’s like these guests who ring and ask if you’ve got any rooms and you say what type of room and they say

“Just a Normal one”

Normal? Do you know what I mean about the stupidity? But you kind of expect that type of thing from a half soaked guest but when it’s fellow receptionist you expect a little bit more.

All I thought at the time was “Just think Em… this time tomorrow” and then something else happened.

An email came through from Mr Harris. I’d sent him an email confirmation as promised, however it was quickly brought to my attention that I had made a slight error when I read what he had to say.

“My reservation is for 17th July, NOT the 16th July as stated in your email. Please amend and reconfirm”

No problem Mr Harris.

So I sent an email back apologising for the mistake and reassuring Mr Harris that his reservation was for 17th July and not the 16th. Then just as my finger clicked on the send button the phone rang…

“Hi Emma it’s Nick again at the Ramada”
“Hi Nick”
“Erm.. I’ve just had Mr Harris on the phone and he says that there’s a problem with his booking…”
“Oh… right, Nick, I’m gonna be really blunt now and say that you, and Mr Harris, both need to chill out!”
“Ok”
“I’ve just sent him an email saying his reservation is for the 17th July”
“Right”
“It’s all sorted so I don’t know why he’s even ringing you”
“Ok”
“You know I’m just trying to help”
“I know”
“If you ask me he sounds a bit high maintenance this Mr Harris”
“He is Emma we’ve had a bit of a nightmare with him”
“Well you tell him from me that his reservation is fine and to check his emails before he starts ringing people causing grief”
“Ok Emma”
“Ok then. Bye Nick”
“Bye”

What an idiot! Just one more day Emma. Just one more day to go!


FRIDAY

My last day.

Simon and me had a giggle when the boss told us about the visit from the engineer at Lexmark printers who turned up when we were both off duty

“Did you?” he asked Simon sternly “Turn that printer upside down?”
“NO!!!” Simon replied in utter disgust giving me "the eyes" as I sat singgering in my chair “Do I look like some kind of idiot?”
“Well I’m just telling you what the engineer said. He refused to look at it at first because he said that somebody has turned it upside down”
“Well he’s wrong because we didn’t turn it upside down”
“Are you sure?”
“YES!!! God! As if I‘d do something that stupid”

I was nearly on the floor at this point. As if you would Simon, as if you would.

There wasn’t really anything out of the ordinary that went on that day. Just a run of the mill Friday. It didn’t really hit me that I was leaving until I walked out of the door and realised I was never going back.

I left the hotel and went for a drink with the butterfly guy. He got in touch earlier on this week and I could feel myself slowly slipping back, opening my heart up again. I needed to close the door on it, and my last day at the hotel, the thing that brought us together in the first place seemed like the most appropriate time.

I don’t think I can explain how difficult it is to tell someone you can’t even be their friend any more. Somebody who you deeply care about who you know cares about you just as much. Somebody who hasn’t necessarily wronged you in any way or intentionally hurt you, just somebody who wants different things than you do, and the only way you can cope with it is to cut yourself off from them completely.

It’s not the nicest thing I’ve ever had to do, and it’s something I hope I never have to do again. Maybe some time in the future when I don’t feel a twinge in my stomach at the mention of his name things might be different. But until then, I don't feel I have a choice, I hope he understands that if nothing else.

AND SO...

concludes a week in the life of this hotel receptionist who, from 9:00am on Monday morning, will be "Special Events Co-ordinator - Best Western Stoke on Trent"

Of all the words I've written, I don't think there are any that can describe how immensely grateful I am to my hotel family who have given me the support and encouragement to get where I want to be. The ones who have listened to me rant and moan. laughed with me, cried with me, looked after me.

Simon, my big brother, my wonderful Aunty Chris, my work mum Diane, Phil, Sabrina and Sarah, my friends for life. Thank you, all of you for everything.

And I think that now... that's it. I am off to inflict my eccentrcities, my mood swings and my general craziness on another poor bunch.
In a job where people won't ask me to get them an iron or sort out the TV or ring and ask for "Normal" rooms!

Normal rooms? That still makes me giggle

Normal room you say? Well... if you want normal... Then find a different hotel!

In which I turn a corner...

“Simon can you have a quick look at the printer in reception cos whenever I print something off it leaves a big, thick black line down the left hand side”

That was all I said to him. Just that.10 minutes later…

“Simon I can smell burning”
“You can’t smell burning”
“I can smell burning”
“Well I can’t smell burning”
“That’s because you don’t want to smell it, trust me. Something is burning”
“Well…. Ooh… actually yeah, yeah now you mention it I can smell burning”
“That is the printer Simon”
“That is not the printer. The printer is fine, look at the paper, the more you print off the better it gets”

When he said “better” he meant that the line on the left hand side was 8 times thicker and had gone from charcoal black to fag-ash grey. An hour later the printer was in 3 separate parts on the reception desk, around 200 sheets of black smouldering paper were overflowing in the bin and a frantic Simon was sat red faced in the back office with his tie pulled halfway down his chest and his hands covered in black ink ranting on the phone to Lexmark Pinter Support.

“Why do things like this always happen to us” I thought.

And then it hit me. That word “us” it saddened me a little

I had a phone call at around 10 o clock on Monday morning, still half asleep after a very late night tiptoeing out of the room so as not to wake the person sleeping next to me.

“Hi Emma it’s Melissa calling from the Best Western Moat House regarding your interview last week for Special Events co-ordinator”
“Hi Melissa”
“Hiya. Well Emma, I can inform you that we have come to a decision, and I’m pleased to say that we would like to offer you the position of Special Events Co-Ordinator if it is that you’re still interested”

What do you think?

“Yes Melissa. I’m definitely still interested”

So there it was. The moment I took the decision to leave the hotel, leave my family behind, and I don’t mind telling you. I’m excited.

But it’s starting to hit me a little bit now, now that I’ve only got 5 days left, I’m starting to think about everything that I’m leaving behind. That’s when I got a little bit sad at that word “us” because I realised that in a few days time. It won’t be “us” any more. It’ll be them, and me.

I was talking to Sabrina a few weeks ago, we’ve both been in somewhat of a similar situation recently that’s ended in heart ache. And I said to her that when you’re happy with something in your life, then all of a sudden you lose it, it’s impossible to believe that you will ever feel the same way about anything again. Whether it’s a job or a relationship, you think that you’ll never get that same rush of excitement, that butterfly feeling where you can’t keep still. But you do. Something is always just around the corner, and it comes when you least expect it.

I’m struggling to believe that I will ever find another “work family” who I love as much as the one I’ve got now. But I know that I will, I know that I’ll be part of an “us” again.

Speaking of “us’s” There’s a guy with whom I’ve had, somewhat of a turbulent relationship for about a year now. It’s one of those never exclusive, on again off again, drive each other crazy but can’t leave each other alone type of relationships. And recently, we became “on” again.

I remember the first time we set eyes each other and feeling that spark, well…actually it was more like a bolt of electricity. That passion, those butterflies, insanely attracted to each other, it was just immense. If somebody told me at that time that 6 months down the line I would feel like the exact same way about somebody else I would never have believed them. Then… the butterfly guy flew back into my life, the old flame from 5 years prior who stole my heart away from the “on again off again” and just completely blew me away. It’s just a shame that it was only a brief landing.

But it just goes to show again that you never know what’s around the corner. Because if somebody had told me that the former, rather than the latter would be the one lying in bed next to me when I took that phone call on Monday morning, the one hugging me as I got choked up with excitement, the one shouting excitedly down the phone to all of the friends and family members I rang to give them the good news, and the one reassuring me that I am perfect for the job and never to doubt myself, I don’t think I would have believed that either. I would have been wrong.

I’m not sad about leaving here because I’ve known for a while now that it’s time for me to stop clinging on to my past and move on to bigger and better things. I know that it’s the right decision and I know that I will be fine.

So it’s just 5 more days and one more blog (which I hope you’ll be logging on to) to go. Who knows what’s around the corner? In this place! Well, just about anything could happen…

What do they actually do?????

In the eyes of our colleagues it would certainly seem that Simon, the assistant manager and myself don’t really do a lot with the time we spend at the hotel.

It is fair to say that to them, it would seem that most of the time we spend there, is spent surfing on social networking sites and/or the UK’s leading employment search engines and playing games such as “guess the year” whilst blasting songs from various “Now that’s what I call Music” compilations on YouTube.

That’s how it would seem. But I think by now we all know, that things in our hotel are most of the time, very far from what they seem to be.

I invite you to read the following conversation that took place between myself and Simon, between 12:00am and 12:05am, the early hours of Saturday morning when I was abruptly awoken by my phone after falling asleep on the sofa to Lee Evans – Wired and Wonderful.

“Hello?”
“Hiya Em it’s Simon. Erm… sorry for waking you up again (when he said “again” he was referring to the 1:00am phone call last weekend when he requested my assistance in trying to identify from which bedroom window a group of rowdy Scottish teenagers were urinating) But I need to know how we block bedrooms on the internet agent sites so that people can’t book them. These people keep on booking rooms for tomorrow night and we haven’t got any left and I need to go onto to our internet agents and update the availability to say that we haven’t got any rooms and this American woman from booking.com has just rang and she was like, haven’t you got any rooms and I was like no and she was like well it says you have and I’m like, well I need to change it but I don’t know how to and I need your help Em”
“What’s happened?”
“Em, How do I go into booking.com to update our availability for tomorrow night?”

Seriously. Midnight.

“Right, you know that green ring binder that’s always hanging around reception?”
“Yeah?”
“Find that”
“Ok. Hang on. There’s a green one here that says agent info on it”
“That’s the one Si”
“Ok, got it”
“Right, now smack it against your forehead”
“What?”
“Go onto the internet and in the favourites folder, click on the link that says hotel admin”
“There isn’t anything that says hotel admin”
“What about hotel websites?”
“Hang on, yeah there’s one that says hotel websites”
“Ok, click on that”
“Clicked on it”
“Now click on the agent site you want to update”
“There’s a link that says booking.com”
“Yep, fine, click on that”
“Ok, clicked on it. Ok It’s just searching. Just hang on. How are you anyway? you alright?”

Midnight.

“Yeah. Im alright”
“Ok now it’s saying log in”
“Right now look in the green folder”
“The agent info folder?”
“Yeah, and in the front you’ll find the log in details for booking.com”
“It says booking.com username and password”
“Yeah, enter those in the boxes Si”
“Ok, I’m in”
“Right so there should be a chart that’s got dates across the top and is colour coded according to our availability”
“There’s no chart”
“Are you in the availability section”
“No”
“Right, go into availability”
“How do I do that”
“There should be a link that says availability”
“There’s one here that says rates and availability”
“Click on the rates and availability button Simon”

Can I just remind you once more that this conversation was taking place at midnight. I was still lying flat on the sofa face up, one arm and leg hanging off the edge, Lee Evans Wired and Wonderful blasting on the TV and some kind of conjealed fur, filmed across my teeth. Anyway…


“Right, I’m on the rates and availability section”
“Ok, is there a chart”
“Yeah, its all different colours”
“Ok, well for tomorrows date, all the little squares that are green need to be red”
“How do I make them red”
“Double click on them”
“Ok just clicking. Oh god yeah they’ve gone red now”
“Have they”
“Yeah”
“Ah that’s nice, right, now just click save and you can log out”
“There isn’t a button that says save”
“What?”
“There isn’t a button that says save”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah”
“Is there a button that says something that’s like the equivalent to save”
“No”
“Are you sure”
“Yeah”
“What about update?”
“What?”
“Is there a button that say’s update?”
“There is a button that says update yeah”
“Yeah click on the button that say’s update Simon”

Midnight people. Midnight.


“Ok I’ve done it”
“Right, that’s done then. Now you can log out”
“Ugh, thanks Em. This crazy American bitch from booking.com rang and gave me loads of s**t because these 2 people had booked a twin room and we didn’t have any twin rooms so I rang the guest and said we haven’t got any twin rooms then they rang the crazy american at booking.com and then she rang me and she was like, haven’t you got any twin rooms and I’m like, no, and she’s like well it says you have on the website and I’m like yeah because I haven’t updated it and she’s like why and I’m like, because the internet’s down and she’s like why’s your internet down and I’m like, because there’s road works and she’s like, well what are you gonna do about it and I’m like well I’m gonna sort it and she’s like well I think you should and I just thought screw you crazy bitch”

“Simon I’m gonna go now”
“Ok”
“And I’m gonna see you tomorrow”
“Ok”
“Night Simon”
“Night Emma, and thanks”

A Receptionists Guide to a Good Summer

EAT HEALTHILY

I recently decided to take a healthier approach to food and my general lifestyle. I have cut down my alcohol intake to once a week, drinking 4 pints of water a day, I’m even keeping a food diary so I’ve got a record of my daily intake.

I also made the decision that from now on it will be fibre for breakfast, carbs for lunch and protein for dinner which basically means that pasta, bread, rice or potatoes are out of the question for my evening meal.

Last Saturday which was day one of my new regime, I sent a message down to chef advising him of my new dietary requirements. The response that I got back was… shall we say rather concerning.

When it came to dinner time at 6:30pm I walked into the kitchen and was hit with a look from chef similar to the look you see on the faces of parents in the 3 second build up before their toddler starts screaming it’s head off

“Em, I’m sorry, don’t kick off”
“You call yourself a chef and you can’t even come up with an idea for a low carb meal”
“Well what do you want me to do Em? Give you a nice fillet of salmon or a nice juicy steak?”
“Don’t get cocky with me Phil”
“Well the thing is Em, you know you make these drastic changes, don’t tell anyone then expect everyone to bend over backwards”
“Well I didn’t think it was a difficult request”
“Well it wouldn’t be if you’d just tell me what you want”
“I don’t know”
“Well if you don’t know I don’t know”
“Well what’s Low Carb?”
“Em… why are you on a diet where you don’t know what you can and can’t eat?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well normally if you decide go on a diet…”
“Right! Do you know what Phil? Just… Forget it! I’ll start it on Monday”
“Emma…”
“No, forget it, it doesn’t matter
“Seriously?”
“Seriously?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes”
“Right. So… what do you want to eat?”
“I don’t know. What will you make me, Can it at least be something high protein?”

I really enjoyed the tuna sandwich I had for dinner that night. It was light yet filling and just what I needed after a 3 mile walk to work earlier that afternoon.

I’m glad to say that despite that hiccup, my new lifestyle choices are going well.. I feel better, healthier, and in answer to Chefs question… No, I decided not to log the 2 bottles of wine I drank at my sisters barbecue, into my food diary, last week.


TAKE A SHOPPING TRIP

It’s always nice to have a girly day out, do a bit of shopping, try on a few things, then have a spot of lunch afterwards. Sabrina and I decided to do just that last weekend, we ended up in Debenhams and when I got to the till she told me that she was going to go downstairs to find a cash pont because they don’t accept cards at our chosen lunch haught, “spud u like”

I paid for my purchase then called her on her mobile to get an update…

“Hiya, where are you?”
“I’m downstairs in Jane Norman where are you?”
“Upstairs by the benefit counter”
“Right Ok then, I’ll see you in a minute”

So I put down the phone, jumped on the escaltor and went down to Jane Norman, no sign of Sabrina, so.. Picked up the phone again…

“Hiya. Where are you now?”
“Upstairs by the benefit counter where are you?”
“Downstairs In Jane Norman”
“Why have you gone downstairs?”
“Because I thought we were gonna have a look in Jane Norman?”
“No I said I just needed to go to the cash point then we can go to spud u like”
“For god sake!”

So I put down the phone and got back on the escaltor back upstairs to the benefit counter, no Sabrina, so… I picked up the phone again

“Where are you now?”
“On the escalator going down to Jane norman”
“FOR F**K SAKE!!!!! I’VE JUST COME BACK UPSTAIRS! WHY ARE YOU GOING BACK DOWN???”
“Because I still need to find a cash point”
“Haven’t you found one yet?”
“Well no or wouldn’t say I still needed one would I?”
“Don’t get cocky with me Sabrina”
“I won’t get cocky if you stop screaming at me”
“Jesus! Right I’m not going all the way back down there to come all the way back up to Spud U Like. I will lend you a tenner to pay for the Jacket potato”
“I don’t want you to lend me a tenner”
“Well you haven’t got much choice have you because I’m not walking all the way to that cash point”
“You are such a lazy bitch?”
“I’m a lazy bitch you’re a lazy bitch! Who’s the one out of both of us with a proper bloody job?”
“Screw you”
“Where are you now?”
“On the escalator coming upstairs”
“SABRINA I AM ON THE ESCALATOR COMING DOWN”
“WELL WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THAT FOR?”
“BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO GO TO THE CASH POINT”
“Yeah, then you said you’d lend me a tenner so I didn‘t need to go to the cash point”
“Yeah, then you said you wouldn’t take it”
“Yeah then you refused to walk to the cash point and said I don’t have a choice”
“Right, stay upstairs, don’t move. I’m coming back up, and we are going to Spud U Like for lunch”
“Jesus Christ Em”

That was a fun afternoon. Although I can’t say I was that impressed with the jacket potato. Little bit dry for my liking, but there you go, it’s an experience at the end of the day.


HAVE A PICNIC.

There’s nothing better than a girly day in the park to lift your spirits. Although I would advise using items from your cupboard as opposed to a trip to the supermarket. We had an incident at the self check out system at Morrisons where I had a bit of a rant about how impersonal the self checkout system was and how it was an excuse for the staff to be more bone idle. At that point, some middle aged, cropped haired checkout woman with a set of jail keys and a walkie talkie took that as her cue to rush over and look like she was doing something, it turned out that “something" was to humiliate me as I stood there with my salad box with no idea how to scan it through

“Is she alright? She asked Sabrina with a screwed up, over sympathetic smile that you normally only give to the elderly or mentally challenged “or does she need any help?”
“She’s fine” Sabrina replied” I’ll sort it out, but thanks for asking”

“Erm… excuse me!” I shrieked, my arms flaying about my mere 5ft 3” frame “Do you want to stop talking about me in the 3rd person like I’ve got some kind of mental illness or something?”

You can imagine, the kind of sniggering that followed that comment, Sabrina covering her face with her hands as the assistant went in search of some elderly people she could “help” Idiot!

So then we went to the park, and we did have a nice lunch, The playground experience was tarnished by that little girl who decided to hog the spinning seesaw ride that was clearly for 2 people. By the way if you do decide to go to the park you want to try and get there before the 3 o clock school rush because the intimidating stares that used to get people off the rides you want to go on doesn’t work like it did in my day. Kids are more resilient than they used to be.

But one thing that will stick in my mind is whilst Sabrina and I sat there in the sunshine, there was a bit of a silence between us that I believe you only get with people you are truly friends with. Where you’re just there and don’t need to talk because you‘re just, comfortable with each other. Then all of a sudden, Sabrina just said

“Thank you Em. Thanks for being such a good friend”

It really touched me.

Because what Sabrina doesn’t realise is that without her friendship over these last few weeks, I would have been lost. I would have been… I don’t know what. And for that, I would like to thank her, she has helped me without even realising it. Simply for being herself. And so, my last tip, on a receptionists guide to a good summer…

FIND YOURSELF A GOOD FRIEND

And don’t ever let her go.

The Child Within

It doesn’t really matter how much older we get with each passing year. There will always remain a little child in all of us who pops up to say hello, every once in a while

I’m still that little girl who made her mummy promise her that she would always have the prettiest dress, the longest hair and the bluest eyes. I’m still that little girl with the mandate to spit my dummy and throw my toys out of the pram if I don’t get my own way. I’m still that little girl who refuses to share, even if it means missing out on something she desperately wants because she’s simply too stubborn to just give in. I’m still just a little girl at heart.

I started thinking about the subject when I bought my dads Fathers day card last week. The first verse on the card that I chose was…

“You choose not to see the faults in me that other people do”

It really made me chuckle.

A very small man with very large shoulders my father. I can recall many a conversation over the years after one of my hissy fits that have gone as follows…

“Dad….”
“I know”
“I’m sorry”
“I know”
“I love you”
“I know”

And it’s forgotten.

I’m chuckling to myself now as I write this latest post. Thinking if only it were so easy for others to forget.

Our kitchen porter still remembers the time I threw a box with £50.00 worth of change inside directly at his head, simply because he asked me for it at the wrong time. Sabrina will never forget the time I lost it with her because she chose a biscuit from the foxes selection, knowing full well that she wouldn’t like it. But that’s me, and it would seem that I’m not the only one around here with a temper.

Yesterday morning I walked into the kitchen where chef was ranting away like, I suppose I could say like normal really because he does seem to do it a lot these days.

Sabrina was stood chuckling to herself and I of course had to know what was going on

“What’s up with him?”
“He’s just thrown a tin opener across the room”
“A tin opener?”
“Yeah”
“Why?”
“Because he didn’t know how to use it”
“He didn’t know how to use it?”
“No”
“Why what’s so difficult about it?”

“Erm excuse me!”

We both turned to look at chef

“Right” he said as he pointed at me “You see if you can f**king do it”

He slatted the tin opener in front of me and folded his arms. The little boy inside him had a smug look on his face as if to say

“If I can’t do it there’s no way that she can”

But he was wrong. Although I had absolutely no idea how chef thought it should be used. To me, the correct way was blatantly obvious. I knew that I was going to get the last laugh.

I carefully clasped the contraption around a tin of prunes and gently twisted it round and round, and watched his face drop as mine became more and more smug.

“There you go” I said as the top of the tin slid off perfectly “Easy as that”

That little boy inside chef that had made him throw the tin opener in the first place gave me a cheeky smile. The little girl inside me just flicked her hair and strutted out of the kitchen proud as punch.

Later on that morning I went back into the kitchen where the topic of conversation was still Chef and the incident with the tin opener.

“At the end of the day” he said still with his cheeky grin “Everyone loses it sometimes, and if I can’t do it in front of you lot, when can I do it?”

And he was absolutely right. We know him back to front, inside and out and we all adore him for exactly who he is, temper and all. It got me thinking back to that card again.

“You choose not to see the faults in me that other people do”

It’s the same for all of us really. Simon reassured me recently that when I go off on my little rants and behave like a “petulant child” as somebody recently called me, nobody here takes me seriously. They just laugh and take me with a pinch of salt. That’s when you know you’ve got good people around you, when they’re people who accept you for who you are, and know that they can expect the same from you.

Yes I may behave like a spoilt little girl sometimes. I may say that something is fine then 20 minutes later decide that it’s not. I may cut my nose off to spite my face by refusing to share. I may “spit my dummy” so to speak if I’m not the centre of attention. But that’s me, and I don’t pretend to be anything different.

I’m still that little girl who wants to have the prettiest dress, the longest hair and the bluest eyes. I still want to be number one. And why shouldn’t I be?

After all, the small man with the big shoulders that I used to sit on as a child told me I should never allow myself to be anything else.

And I think he was right!

Hotel Receptionist? Hotel Superhero?

Now most of you who read this blog may have formed the opinion that I’m not the most competent person when it comes to doing my job as a hotel receptionist. Some of you may also have formed the opinion that I am not, shall we say, the sharpest tool in the shed.

I mean ok, maybe I do get aggravated when people call the hotel to do basic things like book accommodation or enquire about a table in the restaurant. And yes maybe I do always fall for the chef’s pathetic attempt for a cheap laugh by inadvertently ordering tubs of elbow grease, breasts of cod and one time, a bag of chicken lips.

But I’ll tell you one thing, you lot can laugh all you like… Because I know that when the chips are down, when it all goes Pete Tong, Cream Crackered, or whatever you want to call it. You can always count on yours truly to save the day.

The most recent example I can think of was Friday of last week.

It was around quarter to 6 in the morning when I was abruptly awoken by a text message on my phone from the lovely Sarah, my fellow full time receptionist to say

“Really sorry to text so early Em but I’m not gonna be able to make it in to work today. I’ve been really sick and fainted during the night so mum is gonna take me to the hospital. I’ve rang Rob to let him know. Really sorry again”

The text immediately startled me into a conscious state, first of all because I realised that Sarah was on the early shift that day meaning she was due in work in little over an hour and second of all because, well… I love Sarah and was genuinely worried about what was wrong with her. So I sat up in bed and quickly tapped in the number to ring rob, the night porter at the hotel to let him know that he didn’t need to worry and that I would be there at the usual time to cover the early shift instead. It didn’t really matter at that point that I was meant to be doing the late shift that day, all that mattered was covering the early, I would sort out the afternoon shift later on that morning. The priority was to ring Rob before he did anything stupid like ringing another member of staff or god forbid… the Boss! And so…


“Hiya Rob it’s Emma”
“Oh hiya Em”
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah are you?”
“Yeah I’m fine I’ve just had a text from Sarah letting me know she’s not coming in so…”
“Oh yeah she rang me this morning at half 5 so I’m just trying to sort it out now”
“What do you mean you’re sorting it out?”
“Well I was just looking for Rea’s number on the computer”
“Rob, Rea doesn’t work there any more. Rea left 8 months ago”
“Yeah I know but…”
“Right. Rob. Don’t – Ring – Anyone”
“Ok I just thought….”
“Yep, Rob I know, and thank you but it’s fine. I’m awake, I’m up and I’ll be there at 7 clock to cover the early”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes”
“I thought you were on the late today?”
“Yeah I am but I’ll sort that out later”
“Are you sure because…”
“Yep, Rob, I’m sure. Thanks”
“Ok Em, erm… I’ll see you in a bit”

Now then I was just about to put the phone down so I could get myself ready for work, but something stopped me, there was little bit of awkwardness in Robs tone a kind of, hesitance to his voice that suggested he had something to say to me but wasn’t quite sure how to say it, and so, I thought about it for a sec and just took a stab in the dark guess and asked

“Who have you rang Rob?”
“I rang Sophia”
“And what time did you ring Sophia?”
“At about half 5”
“And what did she say?”
“She didn’t answer”
“Ok, don’t ring her again Rob”
“No I won’t”
“Ok. I’ll see you later on”

And so I put the phone down and just sat there on the edge of the bed, a little dazed trying to pull myself together. Within 2 minutes the phone rang again

“Hiya Rob”
“Hiya Em”
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah, Sophia’s just rang back”
“And what did she say?”
“She said no she can’t come in”
“Ok Rob, thanks for letting me know”
“No problem. I’ll see you later”

So that morning I went into work to do the early shift. Luckily I’d had an early night and had washed and straightened my hair so I was feeling rather fresh and sprightly, but there was one thing that was kind of playing on my mind.

The thing is that our boss has this thing about absence and lateness. If it were up to him people would plan their illness’s at the beginning of the year to coincide with their holidays so that he didn’t have the inconvenience of having to cover their shifts or God forbid having to sign anything regarding statutory sick pay. In this instance however he didn’t have either of those things to think about given that I had already sorted the whole thing out without having to get him involved. I had got in at 7:00am and had planned to work until 5:30pm until Helen, another receptionist who I had text earlier that morning, could come in to cover the latter part of the late shift. Job Done. But knowing the boss as well as I do and knowing that he can’t help getting involved in things that are nothing to do with him I just knew that when he came in and saw me at the desk instead of Sarah he wouldn’t be able to help but start ranting that “People should just soldier on” and “these youngsters today just don’t know how to show commitment” and “Rotas are there to give structure and people shouldn’t go changing them at the last minute to suit them” I was about to be very much surprised.

At around 8:30 the boss walked into the back office and put his briefcase down on his desk. I sat up and prepared myself to be bombarded with questions, but instead… he said nothing. He just looked through his in-tray, didn’t say a word and went straight into the restaurant for breakfast.

I think dumfounded is the best word to describe my reaction to what happened. I just sort of sat there squinting and running through it all in my head. Maybe I had got it wrong. Maybe I had dreamt the whole thing about the text from Sarah and the conversation with Rob and it should have been me on the early shift the whole time. That couldn’t possibly be it could it?

20 minutes later he came out of the restaurant and into the back office, I just sat in awe watching him and thinking

“He’ll click in a minute”

But no. Another 10 minutes passed and then that was it . I couldn’t help myself, I got up, glanced in the mirror and walked over to the door…

“Hiya” I said
“Hiya” He replied

This was followed an awkward pause (only awkward on my part) as I stood in the doorway whilst he sat at his desk with his back to me, engrossed in the emails that had come through that morning. Very strange I thought. And so I went on…

“Are you alright” I asked
“Yeah” he replied
“Good” I said That’s good”

This was followed by another awkward pause. At that point I think he must have felt my confused stare upon him cos he sort of turned around and glanced at me then turned back, then turned around again and asked

“Are you alright?”
“Yeah” I replied
“Good” He said “That’s good”

It then became clear to me that he had absolutely no idea that Sarah should have been the desk that morning instead of me. Either that or he didn’t care. But what confused me was that neither of those possibilities would normally be viable. First of all because the boss very rarely forgets anything and prides himself on knowing everything that is going on at the hotel at all hours of the day and night(normally because he always f**king ringing and asking), and second of all because he is renowned for getting involved in things that
A) Don’t concern him
&
B) Are not his place to sort out.


It was all very confusing and to be honest I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. I toyed with the idea of not saying anything but then concluded that he’d find out eventually and then freak out because he hadn’t been told the ins and outs of it all, and so, I walked up behind him and said…

“Do you want to know what I’m doing here?”

He turned round and just gave me a blank, vacant stare

“What do you mean?”
“Well… I was meant to be on the late shift today”
“Were you?”
“Yes I was”
“Oh? Right”
“But then Sarah text me at 5:30 this morning to say that she couldn’t come in to do the early shift because she wasn’t very well”
“Ok”
“So I’m staying till half 5 today”
“Right”
“Then Helens coming in and taking over from me to do the latter part of the late shift”
“Ok”
“And Sarah will be back in on Sunday”
“Great”
“So everything’s been sorted”
“Good”
“And there’s no need for you to worry”
“Fine”

He then turned back to look at his emails leaving me in yet another state of confusion as to why he wasn’t asking “Megs Arse” about the situation and course of events of the morning like, “What time exactly did Sarah text you” and “Why didn’t she let us know 24 hours before the unforeseen incident happened so that we could arrange appropriate cover?” Stuff like that. And so frustrated, I carried on

“Do you wanna know what’s wrong with Sarah?” I asked in a sharp tone that seemed to get his attention very quickly
“Yep” he replied as he spun round in his chair looking rather startled “yeah, I do, is she alright?”
“No not really”
“No?”
“No”
“What’s wrong with her?”
“She woke up in the night feeling dizzy and nauseous and then she fainted”
“Oh dear”
“And so her mum’s had to take her to the hospital”
“Right”
“So, no she’s not brilliant at the moment but hopefully she’ll be alright for Sunday”
“Ok good, good that’s good”
“Yeah”
“Ok well it seems like you’ve got it all under control so MIKE!!!!!!!!”

And I’d lost him, he barged past me to go in pursuit of the maintenance man no “Thanks for getting up at 5:30am to come in and cover” nothing.

I still don’t know what happened that morning. Maybe his body had been taken over by another life form, maybe he fell and hit his head and just didn’t mention it to anyone. Who knows? But the point of the story is exactly what I said before, Forget the grumpiness, forget the incompetence, forget that incident that happened on Christmas Eve that I still refuse to take full responsibility for, when the going gets tough, You can always count on yours truly to swoop in and save the day

It’s just a good thing I do this job for the laughs rather than the recognition. Other wise we’d all be in big trouble!

Wouldn’t we?