In which I turn a corner...

“Simon can you have a quick look at the printer in reception cos whenever I print something off it leaves a big, thick black line down the left hand side”

That was all I said to him. Just that.10 minutes later…

“Simon I can smell burning”
“You can’t smell burning”
“I can smell burning”
“Well I can’t smell burning”
“That’s because you don’t want to smell it, trust me. Something is burning”
“Well…. Ooh… actually yeah, yeah now you mention it I can smell burning”
“That is the printer Simon”
“That is not the printer. The printer is fine, look at the paper, the more you print off the better it gets”

When he said “better” he meant that the line on the left hand side was 8 times thicker and had gone from charcoal black to fag-ash grey. An hour later the printer was in 3 separate parts on the reception desk, around 200 sheets of black smouldering paper were overflowing in the bin and a frantic Simon was sat red faced in the back office with his tie pulled halfway down his chest and his hands covered in black ink ranting on the phone to Lexmark Pinter Support.

“Why do things like this always happen to us” I thought.

And then it hit me. That word “us” it saddened me a little

I had a phone call at around 10 o clock on Monday morning, still half asleep after a very late night tiptoeing out of the room so as not to wake the person sleeping next to me.

“Hi Emma it’s Melissa calling from the Best Western Moat House regarding your interview last week for Special Events co-ordinator”
“Hi Melissa”
“Hiya. Well Emma, I can inform you that we have come to a decision, and I’m pleased to say that we would like to offer you the position of Special Events Co-Ordinator if it is that you’re still interested”

What do you think?

“Yes Melissa. I’m definitely still interested”

So there it was. The moment I took the decision to leave the hotel, leave my family behind, and I don’t mind telling you. I’m excited.

But it’s starting to hit me a little bit now, now that I’ve only got 5 days left, I’m starting to think about everything that I’m leaving behind. That’s when I got a little bit sad at that word “us” because I realised that in a few days time. It won’t be “us” any more. It’ll be them, and me.

I was talking to Sabrina a few weeks ago, we’ve both been in somewhat of a similar situation recently that’s ended in heart ache. And I said to her that when you’re happy with something in your life, then all of a sudden you lose it, it’s impossible to believe that you will ever feel the same way about anything again. Whether it’s a job or a relationship, you think that you’ll never get that same rush of excitement, that butterfly feeling where you can’t keep still. But you do. Something is always just around the corner, and it comes when you least expect it.

I’m struggling to believe that I will ever find another “work family” who I love as much as the one I’ve got now. But I know that I will, I know that I’ll be part of an “us” again.

Speaking of “us’s” There’s a guy with whom I’ve had, somewhat of a turbulent relationship for about a year now. It’s one of those never exclusive, on again off again, drive each other crazy but can’t leave each other alone type of relationships. And recently, we became “on” again.

I remember the first time we set eyes each other and feeling that spark, well…actually it was more like a bolt of electricity. That passion, those butterflies, insanely attracted to each other, it was just immense. If somebody told me at that time that 6 months down the line I would feel like the exact same way about somebody else I would never have believed them. Then… the butterfly guy flew back into my life, the old flame from 5 years prior who stole my heart away from the “on again off again” and just completely blew me away. It’s just a shame that it was only a brief landing.

But it just goes to show again that you never know what’s around the corner. Because if somebody had told me that the former, rather than the latter would be the one lying in bed next to me when I took that phone call on Monday morning, the one hugging me as I got choked up with excitement, the one shouting excitedly down the phone to all of the friends and family members I rang to give them the good news, and the one reassuring me that I am perfect for the job and never to doubt myself, I don’t think I would have believed that either. I would have been wrong.

I’m not sad about leaving here because I’ve known for a while now that it’s time for me to stop clinging on to my past and move on to bigger and better things. I know that it’s the right decision and I know that I will be fine.

So it’s just 5 more days and one more blog (which I hope you’ll be logging on to) to go. Who knows what’s around the corner? In this place! Well, just about anything could happen…